I saw a friend of mine who said whe would be my friend for ever. Hadn't seen or talk to her in a few months and I thought I'd be nice by trying to help them out in the store they work in. But she never acknowledged that I was there. I promised her that I wasn't going to drink, but guess what, I'm fucking wasted, and there's nothing she can do about it. I'm wasted and there's nothing that anyone can do about it. I've spent the entire year trying to be clean, but if she doen't give a fuck, then why the fuck should I? Why the fuck should I? I thnk that people say shit that they don't mean just to get some sort of satisfaction from being around people that they think are like them. And when they find out the are different, they cut them off. It happend to me numerous times. I'm use to it. So I just got wasted because it was something I wanted to do. I felt like doing what felt great, so if she doesn't like it then what the fuck ever. Fuck her and her "I"m better than you because I don't judge people" attitude. Fuck that shit. She's going to damn me just because I mad a mistake. Mistake that I don't remember making, but I took resposibility for it, and I see where it got me. So fuck that. Fuck all my so called "friends". I'm a little bitter, so excuse me for being angry, but this shit always happends to me. I give everything I have to be there for someone and then they push me away for someone better, so fuck that. From now on, I'm going to do what the fuck ever I want to do. So if any of my "friends" like (or don't like it) then they can fuck off. I'm getting to old for compromising.
You think I'd get something better than some "half-ass waive" when I saw you, but that's what I got. Proves to me that you don't give a shit, so why should I. I hate the fact that I gave everything(EVERYTHING!!!!!!)to this person, and they can't acknowledge me, then fuck them. Fuck them. I even called another friend of mine who said that they would be my friend no matter what. (To wish her happy birthday.) She said that she would "call me back" but she didn't. I thought about her on her birthday and she didn't care. SO fuck that.
Is there some unwritten rule that the nice guys get fucked in the ass by a hot cattle prod. I mean, I try my hardest, but does it matter, no. Nice guys finish last. It's a fact of life. So fuck all that shit. I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of trying and getting nothing out of it. My job and my life are the same. I just think that being an ass is the only why to go, then so be it. I just have had enough of being looked over because I care. This is what I get. Pussy as it may sound, I don't care, I just had to get some shit off my chest.
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