Have you ever been wrong?
I spend most of my time thinking about what could have been. I had a person, whom I thought was my friend, kinda' leave me out in the cold an I've been trying to figure out why. I always wondered if it was my fault that I don't keep in touch, but I can't blame her for not wanting to talk to me; I have changed some in the past few months. I become more irritable, more insensitve, and my patience is waring thin, almost like I've become a timebomb. I don't trust myself around the people I care about because I'm having this problem of being rude or saying hurtful things. I get this urge to do that, and it's almost like I don't care if I did hurt someone's feelings.
A few months ago, I came to an conclusion that I was going to be the worsed asshole to ever step foot on the face of the earth. Be someone that no one would want to be around. I had a wake-up call. I moved out of my apartment earlier this week, out from under my roommate who said that we were going to be friends for along time, now he hasn't called, and I think that this is the first in a long list of dissappointments. So I really don't care, but I don't want to be an ass. I just want to live my life and not have to worry about the drama that comes with a guy who can't go a day without talking to someone.
With all this being said, I've made post in the past about a friend of mine that, I thought, changed on me. I think i'm wrong but I'm not sure. I would like to think that she misses me as much as I miss her but I don't know. I feel like the relationship can't be the same as it was before, cause I've said some horrible things about her. But, as an adult, I realized that I made a mistake, but, I do think that I am intitled to an explanation or an appology. Because she was wrong too. But, i'm past the part of being angry, I just want to move on from this and forget the fact that I made a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes, everyone wants to be forgiven, and everyone wants their feelings to be understood. I admit that I made some derogatory comments that I can't take back, but I'm am sorry for them. Then, I don't know, I'm sure everyone has had that one friend or that one person that they have alienated at one point or another, and can't make the things like they were before.