This is a very interesting article.

I was fortunate in that I didn't really have to "look" for my husband . . . I met him through a friend and it all worked out very beautifully. I don't envy those who are dating and trying to find a mate.

All I had to do was go to the online dating service, click on my profile, then click on incoming messages to view my message. Then it hit me when I clicked. It was just a sham to get some poor loser to pay them to find a match. They wanted to bill me for looking at my incoming message.

That reminds me of the classmates thing . . . you can register and set up a profile, and actually find old friends, but you have to pay if you actually want to have the information needed to contact them. I suppose it's a legitimate way for them to make money, but it does suck.

I wonder what the success rate is for people finding someone through an online dating service that they remain partners (or at least friends) with for some length of time?

Great article.

That reminds me of the classmates thing . . . you can register and set up a profile, and actually find old friends, but you have to pay if you actually want to have the information needed to contact them

a lotta schools have their own sites now, usually with an alumni link that can do somewhat the same thing altho it might be slower.  (i attended two high schools in two different states and by merely looking at the list of former classmates whose emails are for sale, ive been able to contact the alumni person at my schools' sites whove had the same contacts for free.)

kingbee: That's good info . . . unfortunately I don't like anyone I went to school with and would would be perfectly happy if I never saw them again my life! He he he . . . well, maybe not, but most of them are jerks, anyway.

unfortunately I don't like anyone I went to school with and would would be perfectly happy if I never saw them again my life!

i used to feel pretty much the same way but there's some fun to be had in seeing just how far theyve gone downhill over the years. 

but there's some fun to be had in seeing just how far theyve gone downhill over the years.

He he he . . . that's evil, kingbee!

that's evil, kingbee

awwww thanks!!!!!

hahahahhaahah!!
you all have finally discovered China's dating service...80 percent of couples are former..high school or college class mates!! in china!!

dude... I'm an old pro at this online dating thing... I met my last girlfriend online and it lasted for a year... we might still be together if she hadn't moved to Alabama.  But anyhoo... I'm going to write an article soon that covers some of the ins and outs of online dating, and I'm gonna critique what I consider the top 5 sites.  I'll try n get to it soon... I think you may find it interesting. 

I've had pretty good luck with personals, too. I met my wife on www.craigslist.org a few years ago. I found I had a lot of luck by just being totally honest about who I was and what I was looking for. You'll get more responses if you exaggerate, but if you're honest then the few people you do go out with will be a much better match. In the last ad I put up, I was very specific about what I was looking for. I got a smaller handful of responses for that one, but one was a total gem (and now my wife).

Another tip: always write back to every decent person that responds. And /always/ inform people you've been communicating with when you find a keeper. Most people seem to totally cut off communication with everyone else when they decide on someone to date exclusively, leaving some poor girl feeling hurt & confused because you suddenly stopped responding to email.

Since I always wrote back with something like "I was really looking forward to meeting you, but I met this great girl and I'm going to see where things go..." I almost always had a collection of friendly girls to call on if things didn't work out. After I met my wife, there were about 4 or 5 girls that would "check in" on me every few weeks or so to see how things were going

I know a girl who does that whole "cutting off your friends because I found someone else better" routine. I can't stand that. I always wondered why most people do that . When I met ex-girlfriend a year ago, I wanted her to meet everyone who was important in my life. But she was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to shy. To the point where it was sort of creepy. But yeah, this other girl i was talking about, a few weeks ago, me and my roommate went on vacation for about a week. Up until the week that we left, this girl was like, "I'll miss you guys " or "I wouldn't know what to do while you guys are gone". Then she started talking to this dude that wanted to date her. He already had a girlfriend, but their relationship was really strange. His girlfriend was really clingy. So drama happened, they broke up, and my friend decides that she's going to be his therapist. They get close, she blows me and my best friend off and then after about a month of not talking to her, she wonders why I haven't called or tried to see her. Well basically, its becaused she pissed me off. Don't take offense to this anyone, but people are just stupid.

I met all kinds of jerk through online dating ... and I still go for it sometimes ...the hope is just there ...

I'm really skeptical about dating online. Aside from not knowing who the person really is or not is a factor, but there's an emotional factor to it.

When I first met my boyf, I was getting butterflies when I spoke to him and I remember thinking when I saw him waiting of me after class, "wow. I met someone really great here." I don't think I could get that reaction online. The shy smiles, the nervousness, the flirting..I think it's tough to recapture those emotions online.

I don't know, I still got a lot of those feelings. The first time I saw my wife walking down the hallway of her apartment building for our blind date, I had a stomach full of butterflies. You're not going to get that same reaction looking at someone online, but that's only a very small part of it. When you actually meet that person face to face, all the emotional stuff is very present.

Yes, you don't know who they /really/ are, but that's the same with just about anyone you meet (unless you have mutual friends who can vouch for him/her). You never really get to know someone until you spend time with them anyway.

What really attracted me to online dating was that I got to meet and go out with a lot of women that all had the same thing in common: a.) they were available b.) they were interested in me on some level. But all online dating did was setup the first date. After that, it's exactly like traditional dating: is there chemistry, can you relate to each other, do they make you feel strongly, are they nice to you, etc, etc. Online dating doesn't bypass any of that stuff at all. The only thing it does is help you to meet each other.

When you go out with someone who responded to your ad, you're not making a commitment (which requires you to assess your emotional responses). You're just setting up some face to face time. After that, it's exactly the same as any other date.